Monday, November 27, 2017

Consistency is key.

In my heart of hearts I know that but I still have a very difficult time being constant. I slack in every aspect of my life, including things I genuinely enjoy. Example: I have not created any type of art in months. MONTHS! M-O-N-T-H-S... that's sad. I am sad about this but I do it to myself. It's cycle I'd like to break and I'm going to try and break it with Power lifting. I took a week and a half off from power lifting recently. Partly from laziness and partly from neck and back pain. I get so worried about pushing it too far that I turn into a baby once I feel pain. Pain is normal and okay.

Here I am riding the struggle buss on my over head presses

This holiday season I'm trying to conserve money but it's SO DIFFICULT! I want all the things but I'm running out of space. I own a lot of clothes that don't fit me anymore. I'll be clearing out my closet slowly through out the week and making a trip to good will. I also just in general own a lot of little knick·knacks. I want so badly to move into a house but Syds right, I'm a huge messy. For a lady I am grossly messy and I need to work on that. I just.. hate to clean. I go through phases with cleaning. That whole constancy thing. I'm just not. I think I cleaned my sink area last month but about a week later all my makeup was right back all over the place. The entire counter is mine. MINE, but no, it's not, I share it with Syd but you really can't tell. New Years resolution, that I want to start right now: Lets be a LITTLE neater. Just a little. A smidgen.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

New Chapters?

Welp.. Last day at the previous job was Thursday. Tomorrow I start the new job! It's downtown so I'll be taking the train. Me and a friend with have the joy of doing this together. I suspect mornings will be quiet and afternoons more excited. I'm excited. The ONLY down side is my schedule will be completely different from Syd's. Giving us only Friday afternoons, Saturday and Sunday mornings together. It's going to be a huge change from seeing each other almost all day everyday to seeing each other a total of two days a week.

He actually just left for work. So I've turned out all the lights opened the blinds to our balcony and am currently enjoying the sounds and grey of the rain. Also Supernatural. It's not terrible. The alone time is good.

So part of getting up and doing more things around Austin i went to a Disney Art show. It was nice. Not exactly what I expected but it was nice. I took some snaps of some Alice in Wonderland ones.

Look how pretty.

I'm going to continue this trend of checking out new places and things in Austin. i think working down town will help. Especially on Fridays since the last train is at midnight I'll have more time to scope out new places, events and people.

For now I'm going to go back to my relaxing couch potato day. He's a picture of Misu who knows exactly how to relax!

Monday, August 15, 2016

1 week

So 1 more week at my current job. Actually only four days. Fours days of this place. FOUR! God damn mother fucking four days. I'll have a three day weekend before I start my new job. I'm going to take advantage of it. Since me and the boy's schedule will be very different I'm going to take full advantage of this Friday and Saturday together.

I got to go to the cat cafe here in Austin yesterday with a friend of mine and it was so cute. Kitties everywhere! The food and coffee was good but lets be honest, everyone goes there for the cats!

So I'm going to take the boy there on Friday. Going to make a whole day of being down town. Very very fun day!

The first thing I have to do is make it through the nest four days of work.

Enough negative talk.

Saturday night I was able to go with a few of some good friends to a club called "Rose Room." It was so fun! I hadn't been dancing in a while and my whole goal was to spend it on that dance floor. Well let me fucking tell you, I did just that and my legs are killing me now. Completely worth it.

Such a fun and friend filled Saturday night from the moment we went out to the moment we woke up the next morning. I kind of needed a 1 on 1 day yesterday. Which I was able to have. After breakfast I was treated my first pedicure, got to go to the cat cafe and then went to voodoo doughnuts. It was just a great relaxing calm day after a great exciting night.

Some pictures from Sunday!

Monday, July 18, 2016

So much time

Well it's been a bit since I've made an update. I guess it's time.

So i missed the chance to teach abroad. It was upsetting but shit happens moving forward, I've decided to get my teaching certification for the state of Texas. I'm putting money together for that. Well really I'm applying to raise my credit limit. Not a huge deal since I only have two cards and one is empty.

I recently went to visit my family! FUCK YEAH! It was so much fun. I hadn't seen the family in so long. I was even able to see my grandfather which was also nice. Of course there was a small amount of weird since it had been so long since we'd seen each other. I don't think he felt odd, he just seemed happy to see me. I felt it though. There was a ting of guilt and some fear. It had been a long time.

Currently I'm ripping my hair out about how much I detest my job. It's not the company by any means. The company has some really great fair policies. It's the people I have to work for. They are...words I don't want to use on a public blog. Maybe if/when I manage to quit or hey! get fired. Which ever happens first. i just need to get out of there. I've been checking the job boards to try and stay within the company but it's not happening. I'm going to have to look elsewhere. At this point I don't care. I don't want to work with these people or this building. It stresses me out. Every morning the thought of a car accident seems more comforting than going into work. Terrible, I know.

Eventually I'll find something else.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Well Shit...

I was actually given the opportunity to teach abroad. I'm going to have to really think about this. Fist off I do have to spend a little bit of money... That kind of don't have? Kind of do. I also would be running the risk of losing the little family and life I built here in Austin. so there just a lot to think about.

5 years next month

I think it would be a great experience even if I only did it the one time. I've never been out of the country and I've only been to 4 states... so I haven't had the opportunity to travel much. At least if I did I didn't take them or realize they were there. So I really want to pounce on this one. ASAP. Just you know normal fear. What if I hate it. What if I get hurt. What if things are different when I get back. I feel like 5 months isn't that long of a time for things here to change unless someone wanted them to change. That could also just be my paranoia....Fuck. Fuckity balls! Fuckity fuck fuck! Shit bags. :< Is it terrible that right now I know for a fact I want a future with syd in it? I understand that a lot of that are the chemicals in my brain.... that doesn't make it any less true. i just know that I'm 26 years old and have 0 idea what I'm doing with my life. Besides working in a call center hating every minute of my day....Shit

Tuesday, April 19, 2016


I have become obsessed with Lipstick! It's very fun and really doesn't require a lot of work to apply but it makes a huge difference on my face! The brand in this picture is called BeautyBakerie! The price is good and it last all fucking day! Good shit right there!!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Personal Afternoon

So I took a personal afternoon to put in an application at a company I'd really like to work for. Fingers crossed I really hope I get it. I'm crossing my fingers!!!! In other news, I went for a run today. Which sure doesn't sound like a huge deal but it's been a while. Back in 2013 I made it down to 135 which felt amazing. I had more energy, I slept better and I over all felt really good!! So sitting here at 165 really sucks. I mean I love myself and all that but I much preferred being 135. Sooooo I'm going to fucking work at it and get back to it. I've been making my own lunches. Portioning things out and drinking more water. YES!!! Motivation!!